Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!
by Super Shayde
Summary: Not really, she just made us say that. [COMPLETED - 14 chapters]
1. BreakDancing?

**Carmelita** - _A Fanfiction Starring...Carmelita Spats!_

Summary: Not really, she just made us say that.

Disclaimer: Thankfully, I don't own Carmelita. Or Olaf. Or anybody else, so there. Sue me. Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't.

Author's Note: This is a series of, er, random chapters, that are..random.

**Chapter One:** A Tap-Dancing Ballerina Fairy Princess Veterinarian No More!

_In which Carmelita is a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess no more_

"I've decided I'm not a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian anymore!" Carmelita Spats stated smugly to Esme Squalor, her hands on her hips. The Snow Scouts cheered raucously, and Carmelita scowled. "Shut up, you cakesniffers! Doesn't mean I'm not going to sing anymore!" The Snow Scouts groaned. "And you'll like my singing!" Carmelita added, her bottom lip stuck out.

"Of course they will, dear," Esme Squalor told Carmelita, swinging around her damp noodle, "What are you now?"

"A break-dancing actress criminal dentist movie-star!" Carmelita yelled at Olaf, who was across the room, "Can't you tell?" She pointed to herself. A gaudy pink boa was draped over her shoulders, her wiry hair was curled, and she wore a mask like Zorro.

"Of course, of course," Olaf muttered, "We were just testing you, of course."

"Good!" Carmelita screamed. "I want a squirrel!"

Wait, wait, wait, wrong book. I'm in a Roald Dahl phase here. Correction...

"Good!" Carmelita screamed, "I want a damp noodle like Esme has, County! Get me one!"

"Right, right," Olaf muttered.

"NOW!" Carmy demanded. Carmelita glared. She was mad that the author was giving her a stupid nickname.

Olaf frowned. He was upset that the author hadn't given him a stupid nickname yet.

The Snow Scouts grinned. _They_ didn't have stupid nicknames.

Esme pouted. Why was the author temporarily ignoring her? She was fashionable! She had a soon-to-be rich and famous boyfriend! She was the sixth most important financial something-or-other in somewhere-or-other! Esme frowned. She was getting mad! The author was completely forgetting what she was sixth most important something of!

Carmy opened her mouth to scream. She wanted the author to get on with it already!

Olaf panicked. He ran to the kitchen to get another damp noodle. "Hooky, get me another damp noodle! Pronto!" he demanded, using an expression that here means "Right now or I'll cut your head off".

"Right-o," Fernald agreed glumly, using an expression that here means "Whatever".

Soon, Carmelita got her noodle. She waved it around as she danced and shrieked - er - sang, and many Snow Scouts fell over groaning with the force of the vicious noodle. Carmelita was happy. Even if she wasn't able to slap the BAUDELAIRE cakesniffers, she could slap other cakesniffy people!

"So proud," Esme Squalor sobbed, wiping her tears away with her new dress, which was made out of bottle caps.

THE END...of Chapter One


	2. The Tea Party

_Carmelita_ - **A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!**

**_Summary_**: Not really! I mean...::sees Carmelita glaring:: OH, YES, YES! It is completely about her! No stinky Baudelaire's anywhere in sight! ::ducks and hides::

**_Disclaimer_**: If I owned the Baudelaires, would I be writing stories about them or trying to save their lives from Olaf? What do you think? Actually, first is more likely, so...ye-ah. But don't let that throw you off, m'kay?

**_Author's Note_**: GASPITY GASP GASP GASP! I forgot to say my friend Erica is the one giving me challenges for each chapter of this! HAIL HER!

**Chapter Two: **The Oh-So-Wonderful Tea Party Except For One Thing

_In which Olaf is forced to attend a very un-floofy tea party_

"Now, Mr. Bear-that-is-so-much-uglier-than-I-am! Wouldn't you like some tea?" Carmelita shrieked.

The purple-furred bear said nothing. His last name wasn't that long, after all. He resisted the urge to burst into tears. Why had the other bears mocked him just for a name?! _Why_?!

Fortunately, Carmelita didn't care(most people believe that teddies can't talk, but hey, what do they know?), and unfortunately, poured tea into his plastic cup and in an attempt to shove it down his throat, it splattered all over him.

"HEY, COUNTY!" Carmelita screeched, "EITHER GET ME A NEW TEDDY BEAR RIGHT NOW OR COME TO MY TEA PARTY!"

Olaf weighed the choices. Of course, it would be better to get her a teddy bear than be forced to sit down with the little brat for forty-five minutes, but unfortunately there are virtually no teddy stores underwater, and Carmelita had successfully ruined all of her bears but the one that was just soiled, after Esme had told her they were no longer "in". (Note the purple fur - Esme dyed him so that he would be "in" again.) So, he grumped to the tea party. Stupid authors. Couldn't anybody just give him the fortune or something? At least killing that nasty little Baudelaire baby brat would be nice for a change.

Carmelita knocked the teddy bear off of his seat. Olaf squeezed into it(its not exactly easy to squeeze into a teddy-sized chair, but he was very skinny, after all.) and said(not asked, it was too unenthusiastic to be thought of as asked) dully, "Hello, Carmelita. May I have some tea."

"NO!" Carmelita screeched, "Its all mine!"

Esme suddenly walked in. "Oh, Carmelita! Its so good for you to be assertive, Olaf, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yeah." Olaf muttered.

"YEAH, COUNTY!" Carmelita screamed, grinning.

Olaf suppressed a groan.

This wasn't just a tea party..

It was THE tea party...of DOOM.

THE END....Of Chapter Two


	3. Viley Violet

_Carmelita_ – A Fanfiction Starring...Carmelita Spats!

Summary: Well, due to a change of plans...every chap's going to be about ol' Carmy, I'm afraid. ::sigh:: Well, I suppose that's the point!

Disclaimer: I don't own Carmy, County, Esmy, Viley, Klausey, Sunny(who fortunately doesn't have an awful nickname), Teddy, Ferny/Hooky, Fiony, or Erickey, the very intelligent maker of these ideas(basically!)...

**Chapter Three**: Violet Stinks, So There!

_In which Carmy decides Violet stinks, and that's it!_

Carmelita stood before the three Baudelaires, scowling. "You cakesniffers tried to make me stop singing!" The Snow Scouts cheered. Carmelita's frown increased. "That popcorn is for throwing at the cakesniffers, not eating!" she shrieked at them.

The Snow Scouts dully threw their kernels of popcorn at the poor Baudelaires.

Sunny, who's lungs were being rather crushed by the ropes that bound the trio together, and did not particularly enjoy being hit by salty snacks, gasped, "Shoomigna!" which meant something along the lines of "Of course we did. That's worse than after your lungs crushed.", or perhaps, "Ow."

"Shut up, cakesniffer!" Carmelita spat, then turned to Violet. "Since you're the ugliest," Carmy decided, "I'll write a song about you and sing it all day!"

The Snow Scouts groaned. Carmy tossed a handful of popcorn at them.

"Viley, Viley, Viley, Violet!" Carmy screamed, "Viley, Viley, Viley, Violet!" Violet groaned. The author's obsession with nicknames did get rather tiresome, after all...

"Vile Violet! Violet is a cakesniffer! Cakesniffer, cakesniffer, cakesniffer..." Carmy proceeded to repeat "cakesniffer" in a sort of war chant, until a Snow Scout cried,

"IT BURNS!" and dropped to his not-so-unusual death. Carmy hardly noticed. Klausey did, unfortunately, and felt rather sick himself. Violet could hardly think for lung-crushing-ness and the embarrassment.

"I'm out of ideas," Carmelita snapped to the Snow Scouts. "Gimme some ideas."

"I know!" one crowed, "Shut up!" Carmy threw a giant ball of popcorn at him. He made a sound like a choke and fainted.

"ESMY! SOMEBODY! GET THESE AWFUL DEAD PEOPLE OUT OF HERE! IT RUINS THE ATMOSPHERE!" Carmy hollered.

THE END...of Chapter Three


	4. Huh? Oh, Right

Carmelita – **_A Fanfiction Starring...Carmelita Spats!_**

Disclaimer: Eh? Merendy...moo.

Summary: Beatrice? Who's Beatrice? ::shifty eyes::

**Chapter Four**: Klausy Wausy, My Sweet!

_In which Klaus is referred to as Klausy Wausy and Carmelita gets new ideas_

"Are we ever going to get out of here?" Violet Baudelaire pondered.

"I highly doubt it," Klaus said thoughtfully, "The door to the brig seems awfully strong."

"Teeth?" Sunny suggested, which meant something along the lines of, "Should I use my teeth and try to pry the door open?"

"I don't think that would be a very good idea..."

Just then, the door of the brig burst open.

"I HAVE IDEAS!" Carmy shrieked triumphantly. "I'll write a song about how wonderful I am!"

"I thought you did that already," Klaus said, confused.

"No! That was about how cute, adorable, ravishing, gorgeous, excellent, lovable, 'I'm the best!', talented, and 'a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian' I was!" Carmelita argued.

"Youloush," Sunny muttered, which meant something along the lines of, "Whatever," or, "An-na Ba-nan-a!" I myself believe the second is more likely, but its truly your opinion.

Suddenly, a familiar voice sighed, "Carmelita, wouldn't it be more interesting to make up a new dance routine or something of the sort? Aye!"

"Of course not!" Carmy pouted. Fiona's eyes widened at the sight of Klaus.

"Aye! What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Um...being captured?" Klaus suggested awkwardly.

"Oh, Klausy Wausy!" Fiona gushed, running towards him, "My sweet!"

Carmelita let out the kind of, "Eeeeeeeeeeewwwww!" a little kid lets out when they see a couple kissing in a movie theatre.

Klaus ducked for cover. Violet stared. Sunny asked awkwardly,

"Floormindra?" which meant something along the lines of, "Fiona, are you well?"

Violet quickly translated. "Um...Fiona, are you all right?"

"Of course I'm not!" Fiona cried, tears glistening in her eyes. "I've been without my sweet Klaus for so long!"

Klaus stared at Fiona helplessly. He shrugged awkwardly at Violet and Sunny. Fiona rose.

"And my dear Fernald is so cruel!" Fiona broke down and sobbed. Carmy snapped,

"Hey, you're supposed to be paying attention to me, you freak!" Fiona blinked, and got up again.

"Oh, right." She said, sounding as if the previous few things hadn't even happened.

"Klaus? Violet? Sunny? What are you doing here?"

"Er...nothing." Violet mumbled.

"Oh, right."

THE END...of Chapter Four


	5. Pronunciation?

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Summary: ::ghostly voice:: Macbeth...Macbeth...Macbeth...

Disclaimer: Something wicked this way comes! (DUCK!)

**Chapter Five:** ...Friends?

_In which Carmelita makes a friend. Well...sort of..._

One peaceful day on the submarine called Carmelita, a very strange kid snuck onto the submarine. His name? Forget it, you can't pronounce it. Where he's from? Forget it, you can't pronounce it. Why he was sneaking on? Forget it, you can't pronounce it. Why you can't pronounce it? Forget it, you can't pronounce it.

He huddled into the crowd of Snow Scouts, who were watching Carmelita's new dance recital, but quite stood out, what with his glowing red eyes and green skin.

"I'M A FAIRY PRINCESS SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING VEGETARIAN!" Carmy hollered, very angry that the author was making her forget what she was.

"...Wasn't it veterinarian?" a Snow Scout corrected, puzzled.

"OF COURSE IT WASN'T!" Carmy screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?"

Another Snow Scout looked around, confused. She pointed to her ears and shook her head.

"WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, MORON!"

The green-skinned "Snow Scout" snickered, but crossed his arms. HE was bored. And HE always got what HE wanted. After all, his parents were – oops. Almost told you. But I won't. So hah. But he was a very spoiled kid.

"I'M BORED!" he complained.

"SO WHAT?" Carmy demanded.  
  
"I WANT TO SING TOO!" he complained.

"NO!" Carmy demanded, even though it wasn't really a demand. But of course, I rule the world, so I get to change the rules of grammar and stuffs.

He jumped up onto the stage anyway, and began to sing(more like a pained wolf's howl). Carmy gaped. That wasn't fair! This freak sang better than HER!

She grabbed the microphone from him and screeched – ahem, sang, "THIS KID'S A FREAK! I'M NOT MEEK! I'M EXTREMELY GORGEOUS!"

All the Snow Scouts fainted.

"Hey, I think I like you," Carmy decided, grinning. "I never made them ALL faint before! Wait – I mean – I did! You stink!"

But the kid only grinned.

"Friends?" he asked.

"NO!" Carmy hollered.

THE END...of Chapter Five. Sorry, Snow Scout that isn't really a Snow Scout kid fans, but he probably won't be here again for a while...


	6. Love Me And Despair!

Kamrileta, A Fanfiction Starring Kamrileta Spats!

Summary: Wow, I've got a lot of reviews! ..Yeah, these are really just turning into silly little messages.

Disclaimers: Oh, shaddap.

NOTE TO REVIEWERS: I love you, people! As friends, I mean. Or as reviewers...whatever. THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING. I love writing this story and I'm glad you like it! If you like Harry Potter, you can check out my other stories, too, if you'd like. Thanks to a reviewer, Carmy's name will be misspelled in this chapter(but purposely!). Also, to another reviewer – yes, I'm horrible, I'm too lazy to find out your pennames – suggested that the kid looked like Zim. Yes, I thought of Zim when I thought of him – a bunch of average kids and then a crazy alien-ish one...hahaha. But 'Zim' is easy to pronounce, so bleh. Anyway, Zim gave me the inspiration, even though I hate that show...

**Chapter Six:** Karmi? Carmy? Camry? Kamri?

_In which Carmy changes her name in an attempt to be "exotic"_

"Oooooh!" Esme Squalor exclaimed, squealing at the latest issue of "What's In? What's Out?", "Exotic names are in! Olaf! Olaf! We must all change our names!"

"Of course, Esme," Count Olaf replied, somehow appearing beside her in that creepy, slinky way villains have.

"Oh, don't call me that!" Esmy snapped, "Call me...Clioparta!"

"Does that name actually exist?" Fernald asked glumly, standing in the corner, using an expression that here means, "That's even uglier than _my_ name, woman!"

"Of course it does!" Esme/Clioparta yelled, "I just made it up!"

"Right-o," Fernald agreed glumly, an expression that here means, "Whatever."

"And you must be Blaize, Olaf dear!" Esme squealed.

"Anything to please you," Olaf said untruthfully.

"Now we must give sweet little Carmelita a new name!" Esme gushed.

"Whatever," Fernald yawned.

"I know! Kamrileta!" Esme announced, "K-A-M-R-I-L-E-T-A."

"I LIKE IT!" Carmy/Kamri hollered, "I WANNA KEEP IT FOREVER! MY OLD NAME WAS UGLY – I MEAN, IT WAS GORGEOUS! EVERYBODY WILL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!" (She had just watched Lord of the Rings. Big ideas were sprouting here!)

"Right-o," Fernald agreed glumly.

"'K' is for kind, 'A' is for attractive, 'M' is for fabulous, 'R' is for..." Kamri droned on.

"Right-o," Fernald agreed glumly.

THE END...of Chapter Six

A/N: Man. The whole Widdershins family definitely has problems...dude. Depression and withdrawal, short-term memory, excessive use of 'aye', personal philosophies that make no sense...equals DYSFUNCTIONAL. ...Whatever.


	7. Smell My Feet, Which Are Perfumed Daily!

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Disclaimer: Hallloooowweeennn...rocks!

Summary: In this chapter? Carmy goes trick or treating, of course! Halloween's tomorrow, so I was inspired. Warning: Snow Scout alien Zim boy returns!

**Chapter Seven: **What Are You, Little Girl?

_In which Carmy goes trick or treating and whacks people with a stick and the Snow Scouts make a musical_

"I'm bored."

"I'm tired."

"I want candy."

"I want Aaron Carter."

"I need these horrible puns to stop!"

"Je besoin de parler anglais!"

"Shut up!"

The Snow Scouts whined amongst themselves. Smelly Carmy got to go trick or treating! And they didn't! It wasn't fair. Nope, nope, nope. Wasn't fair.

"Nope, nope, nope...isn't fa-air..." sang one girl, "No-ope.."

"Nah, nah nah...isn't fa-i-ir, isn't fa-i-ir!" a boy sang.

"Let's make a musical!" one girl exclaimed.

"YEAH!" the Snow Scouts all cried, in that cheesy unison way directors make people do in movies.

"I want Usher!" a boy whined.

"STOP THE PUNS!" a girl howled.

Meanwhile, Carmy was trick or treating, with the "Snow Scout" kid hiding in the shadows. She was dressed as herself, of course. She rammed on Hooky's door.

"TRICK OR TREAT! SMELL MY FEET, WHICH ARE PERFUMED DAILY! GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT! IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T CARE, I'LL PULL DOWN YOUR SMELLY UNDERWEAR!" she hollered.

Fernald opened the door with a yawn and tossed a couple of Snickers into her bag, which was adorned with a horrid photograph of her face.

"I HATE YOU!" Carmy screamed, "GIMME ME MORE CANDY!"

"Nope," Fernald yawned, and closed his door. Carmy had a temper tantrum. While she was distracted, the green kid stole a handful of her Snickers. Carmy tore off her mask, which, of course, looked much prettier than she herself did, and whined. The green kid snickered. (("STOP THE PUNS!")) Carmy pulled her mask on again angrily.

Next was Esme's chamber. "Oh, dear, you look wonderful!" she gushed, tossing her pink-dyed ferret fur scarf over her shoulder. She gave Carmy her whole bowl of candy.

Next was...well...Carmy didn't know, but she hollered her Halloween "song" and rammed on the door.

A random stowaway opened the door, eyebrows raised.

"What are you, little girl?" he asked.

"ME!" Carmy roared.

"Well, that's very nice."

Carmy whacked him with a random stick. He fell unconscious.

Carmy stole all of his candy.

Zim-boy stole all of Carmy's candy and ran off with it.

"HEY!" Carmelita screamed.

Meanwhile, the Snow Scouts were doing well with their musical...

"Ca-a-army sti-i-i-nks," a blonde-haired girl yodeled, while a boy was smacking his drum set.

"Ca-a-army sti-i-i-nks," a boy repeated, while a girl rocked out on her bass guitar.

"LIKE A YAK! CARMY STINKS LIKE A YAK!" an excitable kid squealed.

"Like a yak, like a yak, like a ya-a-ak..."

"Smackity-crackity-lemonleel!" a girl sang.

"Not understand," the little French girl wailed, flailing her arms. "Not understand!"

"SHUT UP!"

THE END....of Chapter Seven

A/N: Yeah...stupid, I know. But I really love this chapter! I love the idea of a Snow Scout musical! Oh, and I'm horrible at French, but I think I made the girl say "I need to speak English!"...which really should be "I need to learn to speak English!" but whatever.


	8. A Magical Golden Aardvark, Dear Sister?

Carmelita: A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Disclaimer: Don't own, nope, nope, no-ope...

Summary: SU ROCKS.

Chapter Eight: Galloping Gargoyles!

In which the Baudelaires find a magical golden aardvark belonging to Carmy

The Baudelaires were scampering around merrily – erm, woefully – in the forest! Suddenly, Violet called to Klaus and Sunny.

"I spy a golden aardvark, my dear siblings!"

"A golden aardvark, dear sister?"

"A _magical_ golden aardvark, dear brother!"

"A magical golden aardvark, dear sister?"

"A magi-"

"_MY_ MAGICAL GOLDEN AARDVARK!" Carmy screamed, running from the cover of the Atrocious Aardvark and onto page 111.

"_Carmelita's_ magical golden aardvark, dear sister?"

"Carmelita's magical golden aardvark, dear brother!"

"Mine," Carmy confirmed, snatching the aardvark. "AND HIS NAME IS HARVEY!"

"_Harvey_ the magical golden aardvark, dear sister?"

"Harvey the magical golden aardvark, dear bro-"

"SHUT UP!" Carmy howled. "My magical golden aardvark can sing!"

"A _singing_ magical golden aardvark called Harvey, dear si--?"

Carmy whacked Klaus with the aardvark.

Harvey blinked.

Carmy whacked Violet with the aardvark.

Harvey blinked.

Sunny gurgled.

THE END...of Chapter Eight


	9. The Three Powers Of Nine!

Carmelita – A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Disclaimer: My computer was shang-hai-ed and a stranger wrote this story! Yes. Su is a COMPLETE AND UTTER STRANGER!!!! ...To you.

Chapter Eight and A Half: The Quest For The Magical Golden Aardvark Continues (or The Third Power of Nine)

In which Carmy sees her future and a young boy becomes a man.

Upon realizing that her siblings had just been whacked, Sunny reached up and grabbed the leg of Carmelita (a.k.a. magical golden aardvark owner and all-around pain in the patoot). A horrific shriek spewed from Carmy's mouth as she felt Sunny's teeth sink into the soft part of her ankle. "You miserable ouchie cakesniffing baby! Wait 'til I get my hands on...." Carmy never finished her sentence. Spotting the bloody wound, she passed out onto the jungle floor.

"Thank goodness for sharp-toothed babies," thought Violet, picking dirt out of her own teeth.

"Sloopy danuta," said Sunny, which here means "that little brat deserved to pass out after whacking you with the aardvark, although I'm sure she's just practicing for when she become a famous belly-dancing-gambler-frog raising actress."

Klaus rose from the vine covered ground and rubbed his head where he was whacked. "I can see why Carmelita was so possessive about this shiny, wonderful, shiny aardvark. I wonder what magical powers he has." He reached out, picked up the aardvark and read the tag on the golden collar. "It says here his name is Nine. I wonder why Carmy called him Harvey."

Little did the Baudelaires know that Nine was the aardvark's true and magical name. As Klaus spoke it, Nine the aardvark began to glow. "I have three powers," Nine began with a gruff voice. "The third is the most magical."

The Baudelaires looked at one another. "Suzagreat," said Sunny, which here means "I can't wait for The Third Power of Nine."

To be continued. Not by me. God no.

A/N: Me equals Su for that. Not me. I'M me. SU IS ME. I'm me. Okay, bye bye, toodles..


	10. The First Power of Nine!

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Summary: Goo goo.

Disclaimer: Seems that she disappeared without a trace, Did she ever marry old Whatshisface?

A/N: Thank you guys for being so nice to Su! I'll have to tell her how much you liked her chapter! Now on to my chapters again...

Chapter Eight And Three Quarters: The First Power of Nine

"My first power is the power to..." Nine started, but then his eyes darted around suspiciously.

"His first power is the power to..., dear sister?"

"His first power is the power to..., dear brother!"

"...To befriend lobsters!" Nine announced proudly.

"Mandazagreat," Sunny said, puzzled, which meant something along the lines of "That doesn't sound very magical, but I, being a small and/or minuscule infant, may be misinterpreting the speech of this magical aardvark."

"How _a_-mazing, Klaus!"

"How _in_-teresting, Violet!" (Cough cough! Roald Dahl again!)

"Stypode," Sunny sighed, which meant something along the lines of "You're hopeless."

THE END...of Chapter Eight and Three Quarters


	11. Cheese is OUT, Harvey!

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

A/N: HUH? Now I'm confused. A reviewer asked Su to update- does that mean YOU think I'M Su or that you want Su to post again? ::blink:: Reeeaaallllyyy confused here. Really confused. Sorry for the chapter being so short!

Chapter Nine: The Second Power Of Nine

"My second power," Nine announced, "Is the ability to wear cheese."

"WEAR CHEESE?" Carmy demanded, who had finally woken. "Cheese is OUT, Harvey."

"Shut up, mortal." Nine commanded.

Carmy scowled. "You can't tell me what to do, aardvark."

"Maybe I can't...but I am a magical aardvark! My third power is to make chicken fajitas!"

Everyone cheered.

The Baudelaires, Carmy and Nine had a chicken fajita party.

Carmy burped.

THE END...of Chapter Nine.

A/N: Finally, a real plot is over! Its hard to write a plot in a story like this.


	12. Tacos, Tacos, Tacos!

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Summary: Aw, fine, this chapter'll be longer. My muse hasn't been coming to me! ::sighsigh:: I guess I haven't told you MY name, so you thought it was my name..okay. I thought I had told you all my name! I'm Amanda, but you can call me anything you want.  Su's my….meh, I never know what word there is for this…very good friend, I suppose! Didn't you see how different our writing styles were?

Disclaimer: Wowzers, that Summary was long..

**Chapter Ten**: Which Is Actually Chapter Twelve

_In which everyone is confused and Zim-boy meets **Gir!**_(YOU MUST LIKE GIR. Even if you haven't seen the show!)

"Welcome to The Tenth Chapter of Carmelita!" Violet announced brightly.

"No, it's the twelfth chapter, you moronic cakesniffer!"

"Tentententententententen!" a voice cried suddenly. All eyes turned to a little robot in a green dog suit. "I like piggies," he said shyly.

"Invaders DON'T LIKE PIGGIES," Zim-boy cried, putting him hands in the air and curling them into fists.

"Do aliens like chicken fajitas?" Klaus inquired, "Recently I've become very interested in the world of aliens."

"Of course aliens like chicken fajitas!" Zim-boy cried, "They are delicious and sparkly."

"Not really," Violet protested. "I've never seen any evidence that fajitas are sparkly."

"Tacos, tacos, tacos!" the little robot put his two cents in.

"Tacos stink," Carmy yelled.

"Tacos are good and yummiful," Violet announced. "Let us all dance to the Taco God!"

Everybody danced to the Taco God.

A Taco fell on Carmy's head and she was rendered unconscious. Everyone ate the taco resentfully.

"I wanna taco on my head!" the robot cried gleefully. A taco fell on his head.

He fell over.

THE END….of Chapter Ten/Twelve


	13. Punky Skunks!

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, I swear. Just Zim-boy(I'll be giving him a name soon..or a nickname), Petunia the skunk, and Harvey/Nine the aardvark. Also, guys, this story was never based on anything. Its completely random, and in some chapters everyone is out of character. COMPLETELY. But most have most people in character. All these are made up of random stuff emitting from my brain.

Summary: Gadzooks!

**Chapter Thirteen**: Punky Skunks!

_In which we meet Zim-boy once again, his pet Petunia, and apple jellybeans dominate the world_

Out of boredom and unusual lack of Carmy, the Snow Scouts began to play Show and Tell.

"I've found some lint in my pocket…" a boy muttered, shuffling through his deep pockets.

"Ooh, I found a button!" a girl squealed. Everyone's eyes turned to her, and she blushed. "Well, it fell off my coat last year 'cause my brother pulled it! I was really mad," she added proudly.

Everyone looked at the button in awe.

"Awwwww," everyone giggled.

AWE. A-w-e, people!

"Oooooh," everyone said, transfixed on the pink button.

"I have a pet skunk!" Zim-boy bragged. "Her name's Petunia!" He pointed to his skunk, who sat faithfully by his side. She had a green ribbon tied around her neck.

"Why, punky skunks, by gum, that's a skunk!" a boy cried.

"Oooooooooooooh!" The girl with the button frowned sadly.

"Skunks are stupid," Carmy said angrily, striding in. "Esmy's gonna get me an iguana!"

"Skunks are coooooler," the Snow Scouts cried.

"Stupid!"

"Cool!"

"Stupid!"

"Cool!"

"STUPID!"

"Stupid."

"Cool."

"Haha, you said skunks were cool!"

"DID NOT!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Stupid!"

"MUHAHAHAHAHA. You said skunks were stupid!"

"SILENCE!" Zim-boy screamed. Petunia tossed her head haughtily. Zim-boy tossed an apple jellybean into his mouth, and suddenly his eyes widened. "Eat-apple-jelly-bean. Jelly-bean-good. Don't-you-want-jelly-bean?" He tossed everyone jellybeans in a robotic manner.

"We-like-jellybeans…" everyone said, as soon as they had consumed the sweets.

"Jellybeans-good," Zim-boy echoed, "Jellybeans-very-good!" Petunia trotted off haughtily in search of tacos.

THE END…of chapter thirteen


	14. THE END OF THE END

Carmelita, A Fanfiction Starring Carmelita Spats!

Summary: I hear you cry in joy! Finally an update! And the last chapter no less!

Disclaimer: BUNNIES.

Chapter Fourteen: The Beginning Of The End…and The End, Too.

In which IT ENDS

"We're sorry to say," Carmy screamed, swinging in on a harness, "But this is the stupid end!"

"I'm not sorry," Olaf muttered.

"What did you say?" Carmy demanded, poking him in the nose.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

"Nachos!" the random stowaway called, "Get your nachos with yummy and delightfully disgusting fake cheese!"

"I didn't know we had a random stowaway," Olaf said to no one in particular.

"Well, neither did I, dear," Esme sighed, flipping through her magazine, "But they are very in, as are fake cheese and salty snacks!"

"GET ME SOME NACHOS, BALDY!" Carmy yelled at the bald man with the long nose.

The bald man looked confused. "Have I even been mentioned in any other part of the story?"

"NO!" Carmy shrieked, even though she wasn't sure. "ITS BECAUSE YOU'RE BALD!"

"Its in to be bald, darling," Esme said airily to Carmy.

"I DON'T CARE!" Carmy screamed.

Zim-boy came in and did an unnecessary dance sequence.

Everyone clapped.

"I now announce the end-" Zim-boy started, but had his head chopped off by Carmelita.

"NO! I NEED MORE ATTENTION!" Carmy shouted, and changed into a red, sequiny dress in about two seconds.

Everyone's eyes turned to her.

"THERE!" Carmy yelled.

Then she duct taped Zim-boy's head back on.

"Good as new," she said proudly, smirking.

Violet stumbled in and held up a "THE END" sign as a random guy in the background waved one hand around and held a sign that read 'Look at me, Mom! I'm In The Story!' until Carmy cut his head off too.

"What do we do now?" Fiona asked, confused, "We must choose a new leader! Our author is gone!"

"Oh, oh, pick me!" the random stowaway cried before Carmelita could.

"OK," Fiona agreed.

"Wait, I don't want to!" the stowaway whimpered.

"I'M ALREADY THE LEADER!" Carmy protested, "ITS MY STORY!"

Then she jumped on the keyboard and typed a bunch of letters.

Fjsdjgojdvgojerogoidjvlskfl;vapefpsjboigfbijroitug985u94ugoihvewjhvkjdhkgvjksdjhfgvwehgr9oiwehfvureihgirhviwhovghrgvoewrghvrehvurh

THE END…of the Story!


End file.
